(Always) Look After You
by Maeve Morgan
Summary: Post 3x11. In the aftermath of their hectic day, Jay and Erin have a moment outside Molly's after shift.


**Disclaimer:** Chicago P.D., its characters and universe belongs to Dick Wolf and Matt Olmstead and NBC. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this TV show and personal pleasure.

A.N.: First Chicago P.D. fic; LOVE this couple and how the show always gives us little hints to work our imaginations on. This is what came after 3x11 and it flowed out of my fingertips after watching the episode.

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 **(Always) Look After You**

As soon as they walked out of Molly's, Jay pulled Erin into him and pressed her against the wall, his hands going up to frame her face as his lips sealed over hers, taking her breath away. He kissed her like he'd wanted to kiss her for God knew how many hours now.

He'd wanted to do that from the moment he saw her tied up to that bed, shaking from everything that had happened, if only to make sure she was there, she was fine, and everything would be alright. But at the time he'd only hugged her close to him just as soon as they cleared the suspect as no longer a threat, and even then it was a somewhat fast hug, definitely not as long as he needed it to be. But they were at work and they knew the rules; even though Voight certainly didn't care anymore about their relationship status they weren't about to break protocol, even in dire situations. That was the agreement they'd made when they got back together a few months before, because even without Voight's objections they knew relationships in the workplace could get messy, and they would never want anyone questioning their actions in the line of duty.

But now they were out of shift and they'd left Molly's after having drinks with their friends and there was no one around, and Jay simply could not put it off any longer.

"Wow," Erin whispered, her eyes still closed, as his lips finally gave her room for air, trailing kisses along her jaw before stopping at her neck, burying his nose in her hair. They both took a few long breaths in, hoping to clear their heads in the cold Chicago air.

As Jay didn't move away and they were still pressed against the wall, Erin frowned a little, running her fingers through his hair, as she said, "Hey. Are you okay?"

He took another deep breath in, breathing in her scent before exhaling and nodding along. Finally, he lifted his head back up and looked her straight in the eyes. Erin felt her breath knocked out of her once again, this time for an entirely different reason. She'd never seen him look at her like this before, his clear blue eyes so haunted yet so focused and with something more, something she couldn't quite describe.

"I love you," he said then quite unexpectedly. "You know that, right?"

She blinked up her eyes rapidly a few times, looking from one of his eyes to another as the shock of what he'd said washed over her. She knew that, of course she knew that. But he'd never said it, they'd never said it before now, not out loud.

Jay kept looking straight at her, reading her reaction and searching her face and her eyes. And the next moment he widened his eyes in surprise as suddenly Erin simply burst into tears.

"Hey, hey, whoa," he said in alarm, as she brought her hands up to cover her face and he kept his arms around her. Erin's whole body just shook as the sobs emerged from deep within her. Jay rubbed soothing circles on her back and then said, "If I'd known that's how you would react—"

She choked out a laugh at that yet her crying didn't seem to abate. "I-I'm s-sorry," she hiccuped between sobs. "I-I d-don't know w-why I'm c-crying like th-this."

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay," he whispered, laying her head down on his shoulder and holding her close as she cried her heart out. He kept repeating it and reassuring her until it seemed the moment had passed and she could finally breathe normally again, and then they just stood there holding each other for a few more moments.

"Thank you," Erin said, looking up at him, her eyes still shining with tears. "And I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"Stop apologizing," he said with a soft smile, rubbing a thumb on her cheek to wipe the tear stains. "It needed to get out, it was an intense day."

"Yeah," she replied, nodding at him as she looked away for a moment. More like an intense year, she thought to herself. But he was right, and she'd learned her lesson from the past. It was never good to hold onto feelings until they burst out in the worse way possible. Better to have it happen right here, right now, with no one other than him.

"All right. You good?" He asked, keeping one arm around her as he pulled her away from the wall and steering her towards his car. She nodded back at him and smiled.

"Anyway, thank you," Erin repeated once more. "For this. For having my back. For everything."

"Always," he simply said, his smile warm and his eyes serious at same time. "I'm just glad that—" Suddenly, his calm façade broke a little, as he choked on his words and gulped down harshly, looking away for a moment. Erin gripped his hand that was on her shoulder reassuringly, and he looked back at her. "I'm glad I could be there for you."

She knew exactly how he felt, and yet there were no words to describe it. As they stopped in front of his car, they just stared into each other as something that a million words wouldn't be able to convey what their eyes showed. This time, she was the one to pull on Jay's neck and bring his lips to hers in a devouring, hungry, desperate kiss as it was the only thing she could possibly think of doing right now to try to put into action everything she was thinking and feeling.

When they parted again, they pressed their foreheads together and Erin said, "I know. And I love you, too."

Jay grinned at her admission, and kissed her quickly once more before opening the door of his car for her. Erin smiled at him, that smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth and was almost a smirk, the smile he loved so much to see on her face.

Life could be tough and unfair and tragic, and they were confronted by that reality on a daily basis, more so than many other people as consequence of their duty. But they also had hope and friendship and love, and would look after each other for as long as they could.


End file.
